I haven't posted anything recently because, for better or worse, there's nothing to really post. More for the better. The wait used to terrify me. The enormity of time, its slow passage, all those seconds and minutes to ruminate and conflagrate. But the fires are still, and time plods on with small, child-sized steps. I see my patients, and things largely feel normal. I return home, spend time with my husband, our daughter, and things largely feel normal. The follow-up scan i

My father went to the ER in April 2020 after developing an unrelenting fever and worsening shortness of breath. At the time this all happened, the COVID diagnosis was not surprising, but still, I felt the floor give way beneath me. From the phone calls letting me know my father had fallen ill to the phone call informing me he had passed, I was in free-fall. Even afterwards, I kept falling. The wind was whistling by my face, and it became the song stuck in my head as the groun